Redwall Song Parodies
by Warriormaid 3000
Summary: Random songs redwallized into Redwall lyrics. Chapters 5 to 10 are Christmas songs I did last year for the holiday season. Other than those, they're all pretty much random songs I did when the mood took me.
1. Ublaz Mad Eyes

**Ublaz Mad-eyes**

(to the tune of Spongebob Squarepants)

Romasca: Are you ready kids!?!

Dibbuns: Aye aye cap'n 

Romasca: I can't hear you

Dibbuns: Aye aye cap'n 

Romasca: Oooh... who lives on and island in the middle of the sea

UBLAZ MAD-EYES

Hypnotic and scary and twisted is he

UBLAZ MAD-EYES

If death and enslavement be something you wish

UBLAZ MAD-EYES

Then look in his eyes and flop like a fish

_ready_

UBLAZ MAD-EYES

UBLAZ MAD-EYES

UBLAZ MAD-EYES

UBLAZZZZZZZZZZ... MAD-EYES

_mwahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!_


	2. Chase scenes with Martin and Gonff

A/N- I came up with this after re-reading Mossflower, especially that one scene right after Gonff and Martin escape from the dungeon of Kortir and they run into Tsarmina and some other vermin, Martin stabs Tarsmina with the edge of his broken sword and they run into her bed chamber and under her bed. Gonff ties the edge of Ashleg's cloak to the frame, they run out, though the mess hall and jump out the window to where the squirels are waiting. So anyways, it turned out I wrote a parody of One Jump Ahead from Aladdin to be an exact description of the scene. hope you like it. btw, it's a lot funnier if you're actually reading Mossflower while reading this...;-D

* * *

Gonff: three leaps, away from the rats now

Martin: Two swings, with Gonff's sword

Gonff: I steal, only what we can't afford

_They run down the hallway into the bedchamber. _

Martin: I've just, stabbed Tarsmina

Gonff: Let's get under that bed

Martin: We've got to get out or we're dead

_Tarsmina and the guards run into the room_

Random rat: Mousethief

Other rats: really?

Tarsmina: FIND THEM!!!

Ashleg: (to the rat gaurds) help me!!!

Gonff: (from under the bed) just a little nap time (pretends to sleep)

Martin: Gonff wake up now's not the time

Gonff: (snapping awake) Tarsmina take a hint. We are going to win. Get out of Mossflower while you caaaannn!!

_Gonff pins Ashleg's cloak to the ground and they run out of the room and into the guard's dining room, causing mass chaos _

Martin: Two steps ahead of the gaurds now

Gonff: Ashleg's been hit on the head

Martin: I see an open window ahead

_Gonff and Martin get ready to jump out_

Martin: Tarsmina I'll be back so

Gonff: wish us happy landing

Both: all we've got to do is JUMP!!!!!!


	3. Cluny came back

Okay, I'm back with more song-fics, but first, a word to my reviewers Lady Storm- Thanks so much for reviewing me. You really gave encouragement to a poor new writer. I know this isn't a Martin/Gonff scene like you wanted, but I promise that my next one will be. To everyone else- Please R and R!!! And now, on with the song  
  
Cluny came Back  
( to the tune of The Cat came Back)  
Cluny was a big rat  
a fearsome fighter too  
he had a bunch of soldiers, servants and slaves too  
was riding on a horse cart  
down a woodland path  
the horse ran off and then he saw the Abbey of Redwall...  
  
and Cluny came back  
the very next day  
Cluny came back  
they thought he was a goner  
but Cluny came back  
he just couldn't stay away  
  
Cluny met Matthias, Constance and the Abbot  
he wanted a surrender  
but the Abbot wouldn't have it  
Constance grabbed the table  
and almost smashed his head  
Cluny saw Martin  
and it filled him with dread...  
  
but Cluny came back  
the very next day  
Cluny came back  
they thought he was a goner  
but Cluny came back  
he just couldn't stay away  
  
Cluny and his army  
were attacking Redwall Abbey  
Cluny was walking up a plank  
to get across the wall  
Constance saw and knocked the plank  
out into midair  
Cluny fell and hit the ground  
his army lost the day  
  
Still Cluny came back  
the very next day  
Cluny came back  
they thought he was a goner  
Still Cluny came back  
he just couldn't stay away!!! 


	4. Friend Like me

Thanks to all of my reviewers- Missy Mouse- I'm glad you like my choice of songs Lady Storm(I'll try to remember your new name) - here's the Gonff+Martin song you've been asking for. I've also used your Rudolf idea.  
  
Sung from the point of view of Gonff  
  
Well Lord Brocktree had them 40 hares And Old Green-Eyes had a thousand slaves But Martin you're in luck cause up your sleeves You've got a mousetheif that never fails You've got some mischief in your corner You've got experience in your Holt You've got some wit, fine skills, spunk and how See all I've got to do is rub that bolt. And I'll say,  
  
Mister Martin sir! What will your pleasure be? Let me take your order Jot it down; you ain't never had a mate like me!  
  
This castle is your restaurant And I'm your trusty thief. C'mon, whisper what it is you want You ain't never had a mate like me!  
  
Yes we pride ourselves on service. You're the hero! The warrior! The mouse! Say what you wish, it's your true dish How 'bout some October ale  
  
Try all of barrel A. How 'bout some flagon B? I'm in the mood to help you dude! You ain't never got a mate like me.  
  
Can your mates do this ? Can your mates to that? Can your friends pull cheese and wine, out their little vest Can your mates go poof! Well looky here Can your friends go Abracadabra let 'er rip And make that lock disappear, So don't just sit there long-faced, grim eyes, I'm here to answer all your midday pleas. You got me Corim certified You've got a mousetheif for your charge d' affairs.  
  
I've got a powerful urge to help you out.  
  
So what-ch wish? I really wanna know. You've got a list that's three seasons long, no doubt Well, all you I've gotta do is pick this lock.  
  
Mister Martin sir, have a wish or two or three I'm on the job, you big nabob, You ain't never got a mate, never got a mate, You ain't never got a mate like me.  
  
YOU AIN'T NEVER GOT A MATE LIKE ME!!! 


	5. Sunflash the gold striped badger

You know Brocktree and Rawnblade and Urthstripe and Cregga

Urthclaw and Constance and Stonepaw and Mellus.

But do you recall

The most odd-colored badger of all…

Sunflash the gold-striped badger

Had a very golden stripe

And when Swartt Sixclaw saw it

He would even think it glowed. 

All of the other vermin

Used to laugh and call him names.

They always made poor Sunflash

Join in all their vermin games

Then one foggy winter's eve, Skylarth came to say,

"Sunflash with your mace so bright

Won't you smash his claw tonight?"

Then how Swartt Sixclaw hated him

As he shouted out with glee,

"Sunflash the gold-striped badger

You're gonna be history!!!"


	6. The Twelve Days of Redwall

a/n- here's a song for the holidays. I'm going to try to Redwallize as many traditional Christmas carols as I can so I can sing them for Christmas. If there's any particular one you'd like me to do, let me know in a review.

On the first day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

A squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the second day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me.

Two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the third day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Three warriors questing, two abbey bells, and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the forth day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Four Guosim shrews, three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Five gleaming swords. Four Gousim shrews, three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Six pearls a-gleaming, five gleaming swords. Four Gousim shrews, three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas (Insert Redwall name) gave to me

Seven otters swimming, six pearls a-gleaming, five gleaming swords. Four Gousim shrews, three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Eight moles a-digging, seven otters swimming, six pearls a-gleaming, five gleaming swords, four Gousim shrews three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Nine hares a-scoffing, eight moles a-digging, seven otters swimming, six pearls a-gleaming,five gleaming swords, four Gousim shrews, three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Ten badger lords, nine hares a-scoffing, eight moles a-digging, seven otters swimming, six pearls a-gleaming, five gleaming swords,four Gousim shrews, three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Eleven dibbuns playing, ten badger lords, nine hares a-scoffing, eight moles a-digging, seven otters swimming, six pearls a-gleaming, five gleaming swords. Four Gousim shrews, three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas (insert Redwall name) gave to me

Twelve Redwall feasts, eleven dibbuns playing, ten badger lords, nine hares a-scoffing, eight moles a-digging, seven otters swimming, six pearls a-gleaming, five gleaming swords. Four Gousim shrews, three warriors questing, two abbey bells and a squirrel-queen in an ash tree. 


	7. I'll be home for Nameday

A/N- This is based on "I'll be home for Christmas" and it's about Matthias's thoughts to Cornflower when he goes to find Mattimeo. (It may be a little more serious than the others.)

**************** ***************** ********************* ************

Matthias's POV 

I'll be home for Nameday

You can count on me

There'll be shouts of joyfulness 

When all our young ones are free.

Mossflower Woods will find us

Where the Abbey bells ring.

I'll be home for Nameday.

If only in my dreams

Love it? Hate it? Please review. (I'm probably going to annoy everyone around me by singing these Redwall Christmas carols.)


	8. A long patrol Christmas

Here's another Redwallized Christmas carol to Jingle Bells!

Dashing through the sand.

In an eight-hare fighting squad.

Over the dunes we go

Shouting as we fought. (Eulaliaaa!)

Swords and spears will ring

Making vermin cry.

What fun it is to fight and yell

Our battle cries to night.

Oh battle cries.

While vermin die.

We'll fight all the way.

Oh what fun

 It is to fight 

Till the vermin run away

Battle cries

While vermin die

We'll fight all the way.

Oh what fun 

It is to fight

Till all the vermin run away.


	9. Deck the halls

A/N- Here's deck the halls, Redwall style. Merry Christmas! Happy holidays! (Depending on when the site posts this up) *sniff sniff* my first Christmas with this site.

To the orchards, all abbeybeasts!

_Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la_

Tis the night of the abbot's feast!

_Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la_

Dine we now in cheer and splendor 

_Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la_

In this beautiful midsummer's weather

_Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la_


	10. Do you hear what I hear MoR style

Said old Simeon to the abbot then

Do you hear what I hear?

Through the silence of the woods, Abbot Bernard

Do you hear what I hear?

A storm, great storm, coming in the night

On this beautiful summers night

On this beautiful summers night.

Said the captain to the bellmaker

Do you see what I see?

Sailing right behind us, bellmaker

Do you see what I see?

A searat's ship, coming for the bell

With its sails spread wide to the seas

With its sails spread wide to the seas

Said Bobbo to the mousemaid brave

Do you know what I know?

Where your riddle ends, mousemaid brave

Do you know what I know?

A swallow lies, buried in the sand

Guarded ever by monsters of deep

Guarded ever by mosters of deep

Said the bellmaker to the slaves' army

Listen to what I say.

Now's the day where we will all be free

Listen to what I say.

The battle comes, Gabool will be destroyed

And his fortress burned to the ground 

And his fortress burned to the ground.


	11. Matthias's Reflections

A/N- Thanks for all your reviws. I've got another songfic to the other version to this song coming. This is pre-redwall where Matthais is still trying to be a perfect brother in the abbey

Matthias's reflections

Look at me

I will never pass as a perfect mouse

Or a perfect brother

Can it be I'm meant for another part

Now I see 

That if I were truly to be myself

It would break the Abbey's heart

Who is this mouse I see

Staring back straight at me

Why does my reflection show

A brother I don't know

Somehow I cannot hide

The warriormouse

Though I try

When will my reflection show

The warriormouse inside


	12. Tagg's reflections

This is done to the other version to the previous song. It's about how Taggurung felt living in a vermin's camp and being someone he's not…

Look at me

This tribe may think they see who I really am

But none of them will know me

Everyday 

It's as if I play a part

Now I see

If I bear their marks 

I will fool the world 

But I can never fool my heart

Who is that mouse I see

Staring back right at me

And when will my face truly show

Who I am inside

Now I live

Among vermin where I have to hide my heart

And the values I believe in

But somehow

I will show this tribe 

What's inside my heart

Though they will all hate who I am

Who is that mouse I see

Staring back straight at me

And when will my face truly show

Who I am inside

Must I pretend that I'm

This ruthless beast

All the time

When will my face truly show

Who I am inside
    
    There's a heart that must be free to fly
    
    That burns with a need to know the reason why
    
    Why must I all conceal
    
    What I think
    
    How I feel
    
    Must there be a secret me
    
    I'm forced to hide?

I won't pretend that I'm

This ruthless beast

All the time

Now will my face truly show

Who I am inside

When will my face truly show

Who I am inside.


	13. Fighter Boi

Finally, I'm back with another song parody. btw, I'm going to be changing this fic's name to Redwall Song Parodies insted, since I just rembered that these aren't exactly songfics.This one is a Martin and Rose to Avril Lavine's Sk8ter Boi. Hope you like it.

He was a mouse  
She's a mousemaid  
Can I make this anymore obvious?

He had a sword  
She did crochet  
What more can I say

He wanted her  
and they could tell  
obviously she wanted him as well

but the folks back home  
stuck up their nose  
they had a problem with his messy clothes

He was a fighter boi  
her dad said ya later boi  
he wasn't good enough for Rose  
She had a pretty face  
her dad's head was up in space  
he needed to come back down to earth

few days from now  
he sits at home  
here in Noonvale  
he's all alone  
goes to the door  
guess who he sees  
Fighter boi chopping down the tree  
calls all his friends  
they already know  
and they're all outside to see the show  
he goes outside  
stays in the crowd  
and watches the mouse that he turned down

He was a fighter boi  
her dad said see ya later boy  
he wasn't good enough for Rose  
Now Martin's a super star  
he cut down the sycamore  
does your old face see what he's worth

Sorry dad but you were wrong  
Fighter boi is mine now  
we are more than just good friends  
this is how story ends  
Just to bad you couldn't see  
see how great this mouse could be  
I saw more than his fighting side  
I saw the soul that was inside

He's just a mouse  
I'm just a mousemaid  
Can I make this anymore obvious  
We are in love  
Haven't you heard  
How we rock each other's world

I met a fighter boi  
I said see you later boi  
I'll be inside after the show  
I'll be in the council lodge  
singing the song we wrote  
about the chief that we all know

So how was that??? btw, i'm going to start replying to reviews in the next chapter, so I just wanted to give a big thank you to everyone who reviewed my earlier ones. Each review was special to me, and they're what keeps me going!!! YOU ALL ROCK!!!


	14. Squriel Queen

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates...I had incredible writers block with this fic. Here's a parody of Dancing Queen dedicated to Lady Amber, since she's one of my favorite characters in Mossflower but I've noticed that she hardly gets any limelight in fanfics. Hope you like this. Also, if you suggested a song, I'm working on it, and thanks for your suggestions, and a big thanks to all my reviewers :-D

BTW, sincequick edit doesn't let me single space or double space between verses, that will now be represented by a ------. If anyone knows how to fix this, please let me know :-D Thanks

-----------

She loads that bow, pulls that string, she's having the fight of her life

See her fight, watch that scene, Mossflower's Squriel Queen

--------

Vermin's out, they're all laying low

In the trees is the place to go

When they come too close, getting in the swing

She takes her aim as they're closing in

Anyone there could be just right

Fight's just starting and the tension's high

With her deadly skill everything's just fine

She's out to save Mossflower

And when she gets the chance

--------

She is the squirrel queen, lean and mean, absolute fight machine

Squirrel queen, feels that rush, watching the vermin flee

She loads that bow, pulls that string, she's having the fight of her life

See her fight, watch that scene, Mossflower's Squriel Queen

-----------

From the trees she tracks them down

Sticks them full then she's not around

Looking out for more vermin, anyone will do

She's out to save mossflower

And when she gets the chance...

----------

She is the squirrel queen, lean and mean, absolute fight machine

Squirrel queen, feels that rush, watching the vermin flee

She loads that bow, pulls that string, she's having the fight of her life

See her fight, watch that scene, Mossflower's Squriel Queen


End file.
